


The Touch of Your Hands Closing on Mine (and How Warm It Is)

by indigoblue_readsalot



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: AND a love interest ?????????, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, and we have no romantic feelings for each other whatsoever, cana's creative cursing, for a little bit !!!, gray & natsu are dumb & dumber, gray and natsu will hold hands and go This Is Normal, gray how come your mom lets you have two best friends ???, gray is hopeless. natsu is hopeless. save them, gray loves natsu and absolutely no one is surprised, i'm channeling my inner thoughts through lucy, it's not mentioned even once but erza and mira are GFS, lucy is the best best friend anyone could ask for, lucy likes ice cream way too much because i like ice cream way too much, set after the ending of fairy tail (2018), teeny tiny mention of fraxus bc i can't help myself, they're a bit confused but they got the spirit (the gay spirit)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26904226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigoblue_readsalot/pseuds/indigoblue_readsalot
Summary: They felt that way, about each other. The other didn’t know, because how could Natsu and Gray, who only knew how to talk through arguments and taunts and fists, convey just how much they meant to each other?
Relationships: Gray Fullbuster & Lucy Heartfilia, Natsu Dragneel & Lucy Heartfilia, Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster, gray & cana too but lowkey
Comments: 12
Kudos: 89





	The Touch of Your Hands Closing on Mine (and How Warm It Is)

**Author's Note:**

> *knocks on fairy tail/gratsu door* hello is anyone here  
> so. it's 2020 and i finished fairy tail! i like gratsu a Whole Lot and it turned into a whole thing. this was just a small scene of natsu thinking about gray's hands that i wrote in 2019 (when i started fairy tail) and now it's this... 11k(?) monster, so there's that.  
> 1\. NATSU AND LUCY ARE BEST FRIENDS NOTHING MORE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLATONIC NALU FTW  
> 2\. juvia doesn't exist in this fic. explanation in end notes  
> 3\. story is set after ft 2018, i didn't read 100yq, also they have phones TVs and refrigerators bc i said so  
> 4\. have fun bbs! <3 i'm probably not going to write anything for ft again (or at least any time soon) bc i don't have the time, but writing this was so nice, so i hope you like these little idiot boys and their idiot journey!!

Natsu was known for a few things.

He was known for being strong, loyal, and hyperactive. He was known to be prideful, and somewhat idiotic, and endlessly stubborn.

And if there was anything Natsu “stubborn as a mule” Dragneel held onto like a lifeline, it was his friends.

Or maybe ‘the people he loved’ was a better fit, because many of them weren’t _just_ his friends. And there were _so_ many of them, so many people Natsu gave his heart to, so many people Natsu loved.

There was Happy, for a start. Natsu’s brother in every way but blood. Erza, too, who was like a sister to him; strong and dependable, when Natsu needed someone to depend on. There was Lisanna, who he grew to realize was practically his heartmate in every way but romantic, who he was willing to jump into Tartaros by himself to protect. Gildarts, who Natsu looked up to, and was like a second dad to him. Lucy, Natsu’s best friend, who entered his life like a thunderstorm and loved him just as fiercely. The newest editions were Wendy, who Natsu guarded like she was his own, and Gajeel, who was a comrade, and everything that word entailed.

There was Gray.

Natsu didn’t exactly know what to call Gray. A friend? An ally? Family?

Natsu called Gray his friend before, but the word didn’t seem to fit as perfectly as Natsu wanted it to. Gray wasn’t exactly a friend, but he wasn’t less than a friend. Calling him an ‘ally’ felt wrong, because he was way more than that. Family wasn’t the right word either, because Natsu didn’t feel the same way about Gray as he did people who he considered family. 

Gray was just. Gray. A person Natsu loved beyond logic and reason.

And Natsu truly loved Gray, even if he couldn’t tell in what way. He loved Gray in a similar way he loved so many others, but their relationship wasn’t comparable at all, at the same time. Gray was dear to Natsu’s heart, and that was that.

No matter what, he cared for him. And even when they fought, Natsu needed him; Gray was someone Natsu knew inside and out. Knowing someone that way was comforting, and Natsu depended on that comfort, looking for Gray’s presence even when he wasn’t looking.

On the other end of things, there was Gray, who didn’t know what a “friend” really was.

 _Yes_ , he was friends with everyone in Fairy Tail. But Gray didn’t know what made a friend, not when there were people he loved more than others, not when there were people he considered madness for.

If he were to describe the most important people to him, and leave out the people he lost, he’d be able to point them out and maybe even explain _why_ they’re important, but it would be a bit of an incomplete truth. Gray could pinpoint why they’re important, but not why they were important over others.

Lyon was important, and Gray could barely begin to understand why. He was like a brother; not one, but like one nonetheless. Lyon was the only thing Gray had left after he lost both his first and his second family.

(Gray only lost and lost as time passed.)

But Gray gained a third family, too.

The first person to join it, Erza, was so important. Gray loved her, respected her, trusted her more than anyone else. Gray also loved Cana, who was sisterlike in her charms and intense in her loyalty, who he cherished deeply. Gray loved Lucy in a similar way despite the relatively short amount of time he knew her for, and felt a strong need to protect her. 

They were all close enough to be family, but Gray never called them that.

If he had to, there was one person who Gray would think to consider as family, out of all the people he deemed important. The reason was unclear, or maybe it wasn’t? Gray wasn’t sure, especially since it was none other than the idiot Gray spent most of his time fighting with. It was none other than Natsu.

Natsu was an idiot, but he was important beyond words, and he was consistent and close and warm and _safe_ , and maybe that was enough to be Gray’s family. Gray needed him more than he was ever willing to admit. He loved him. Natsu would’ve been Gray’s person, if Gray allowed himself to have one.

They felt that way, about each other. The other didn’t know, because how could Natsu and Gray, who only knew how to talk through arguments and taunts and fists, convey just how much they meant to each other?

There was one indicator that took both of them a little while to notice. Something that hid beneath the surface, but was obvious, at the same time.

Natsu and Gray were always touching.

The first time Natsu noticed it, it made him wonder.

Gray and Natsu were looking for a job location in the streets of a large market, but couldn’t find it. Gray looked at the map, frustrated.

“I swear, this map is misleading,” Gray said, walking unconsciously. “The location should be right here.” then, he sighed, turning in a different direction while staring at the map. “We should’ve brought Lucy with us.”

“You’re walking into the road,” Natsu pointed out. Gray didn’t listen, not looking up from the map he was focused on. “Gray!”

“Ah, I think I got it. We’re not in the right street,” Gray said, but before Natsu could hear the rest, a speeding cart raced closer to them and was about to hit Gray.

“I said,” Natsu repeated, grabbing Gray’s hand and pulling him away from the street, “You’re walking into the road!”

Gray stumbled and bumped into Natsu’s shoulder. After a moment, he regained his footing and watched the fast cart cut through the street. “Woah, my bad. I didn’t see that.”

Natsu grinned, proud of himself. “I guess my eyes are sharper.”

“Talk about giving yourself credit, you flaming idiot!” Gray stuck his tongue out at him. “And let go of my hand already!”

Natsu’s expression neutralized and he tilted his head in confusion. He looked down, and as Gray said, their hands were still intertwined. The feeling wasn’t bad, though. Gray’s hands, for a guy who used ice magic, were surprisingly soft and warm. The most surprising thing was how familiar the feeling was, despite the fact Natsu couldn’t recall one time he held Gray’s hand.

“I guess your hands get cold only when you use your magic, huh?” Natsu wondered out loud, opening and closing his hand around Gray’s.

“Stop analyzing my hands,” Gray said dryly, yanking his hand away. “Anyway, let’s go. I’m pretty sure I figured out where we need to be.”

“Fine.”

Natsu let Gray take the lead, and looking at his back, he wondered how come the surprising warmth of his hand wasn’t surprising at all.

The first time Gray noticed it, it scared him.

Through the smoke of his flames and the intensity of the paralyzing pain, Natsu could barely see anything. All he knew was that he won, and he was about to pass out.

Natsu's legs wobbled, and before he could tell that he was going to fall, his knees were already on the ground. His likely broken arm leaned on the ground to stabilize the rest of his body, and he winced at the sudden surge of awful pain in his body that started once the rush of adrenaline in his body subsided.

"Natsu!" He heard a few voices call, but Natsu's state didn't allow him to look up. He tried to lift himself up, but ended up collapsing.

"Stop moving, dumbass!" A much closer, clearer voice called out. "I'm coming!"

Natsu could hear rushing footsteps and suddenly there was a hand curling around his waist, pulling him towards a stable shoulder.

Natsu didn’t need to recognize the speaker’s voice to know who it was. His hands said enough. "Gray," Natsu choked out, and started to cough.

"Take it easy," Gray's voice came, and a soft hand cradled the side of Natsu's face, turning it. Gray's normally focused dark-blue eyes were worried, softened, searching for any injuries Natsu might've sustained on his face or next to his head.

"I'm fine," Natsu said through gritted teeth, making another failed attempt at getting up. 

"You're hopeless," Gray muttered. "Stay still." 

Gray lifted him up carefully, and Natsu let his eyes close for a bit. His head ebbed with pain, probably from the head wound Natsu remembered getting when a rock that flew in his direction after the explosion crashed into him, and he could taste blood in his mouth.

"Thanks," Natsu said, exhausted. "Sorry."

"What the hell are you sorry for?" Gray asked him, his tone exasperated yet fond. "We're used to you wreaking havoc and starting fights like a dumbass, and we chose to love you anyway, so stop being weird. We’ve got to take you to Wendy."

Natsu didn't have a drop of energy left in his body and yet somehow, he found himself smiling. When Gray noticed him smiling, he returned the smile for a moment, and then seemed to catch himself and forced a frown. Gray had a soft side, even if he barely showed it, and it was embarrassingly directed at his frustrating yet passionate partner.

Only after finding Wendy and putting Natsu down did Gray question his immediate need to know Natsu is safe, feel him in his arms, and see that he’s alive.

“Gray, look!”

Gray was startled out of his conversation with Cana as Natsu ran to him, slinging an arm over his shoulders. He brought a flyer from the job offers board. “Look!”

Gray focused his eyes on the flyer. There was nothing unusual about it. It was a flyer about a random job, but Gray seemed to understand when he read the specified location. “It’s way up north, and Lucy thought the job sounded easy enough, so she told me to ask you if you want to come,” Natsu explained. “Feel free to stay here, though. I don’t need you to come.”

Natsu’s tone was light, and Gray knew not to take his jabs seriously. “Yeah right, liar. You two wouldn’t survive the cold without me,” he said and crossed his arms. A second later, a smile snuck past his lips. “I’ll come.”

Natsu grinned, and let go of Gray to go to Lucy and Happy, yelling that Gray agreed to come. Gray smiled fondly at his back. 

The trip to the north was pleasant. The job was fairly easy, and they found themselves on their way back a day or so later. when they hiked up the cold mountains, Gray stopped to stare at the ice-covered scenery, and breathed in the cold air, the ice filling his lungs with comfort. He was close to his hometown.

Then, he felt a warm hand on the small of his back, and locked eyes with Natsu. The other grinned at him for a short moment and continued past him, to go talk to Lucy who was walking with their map.

Instantly, Gray realized three things. 

His shirt was gone. 

Natsu’s hand was impossibly warm. 

No one’s ever touched Gray’s skin like that before.

There was something so familiar and comfortable about the way Natsu’s hand touched him, that made Gray wonder why it didn’t feel out of place. When did Gray get used to Natsu’s touch? Why was it so warm and addicting?

Gray started moving again, suddenly unsure. Natsu was the most physical person Gray knew, and it was never a problem. If Gray started to crave that physical closeness, after so many years of mindless pulling, shoving, and holding, what could that mean?

Gray found the answer a little while later. One cold day, He and Lucy were talking quietly, sitting in front of the fireplace Erza built a week before after Mirajane complained about how they didn’t invest in a heater when it was freezing outside and _no, Natsu, you can’t burn the building to “warm everyone up”_. Apparently, Erza was a real handyman when she needed to be, and Lucy (who absolutely hated the cold) decided to spend the rest of the winter sitting in front of it. 

Gray didn’t need to be warmed up, but he didn’t mind the warmth that came from the fireplace, and didn’t mind the way Lucy became talkative when he sat next to her. Eventually, Lucy started getting sleepy, and Gray let her rest her head on his thigh. Gray watched the fire, content to wait until she’d wake up.

Eventually, Natsu came to sit next to him, looking between Lucy and the fire. “Think she’ll mind if I eat some of that?”

Gray huffed a laugh, but before he could reply, Mirajane announced that she was taking a break and was freezing cold, and stared at Natsu as she said it, daring him to do as he said.

Natsu sighed. “I guess that’s a no.”

So he won’t have to wake Lucy up to make space for Mirajane in front of the fire, Gray looped an arm around Natsu’s waist and pulled him closer. Natsu didn’t protest, allowing Gray’s touch, and Mirajane sat next to Natsu while sneaking a look at Gray’s hand. Eventually, potentially out of boredom, Natsu fell asleep on Gray’s shoulder.

Gray sat there for a while. Unable to do anything but stare at the crackling fire and make sure he wasn’t disturbing his friends’ sleep, his arm still wrapped around Natsu even when Mira left and didn’t need the space anymore. 

The many years of mindless shoving, pulling, and holding led Gray to wrap his arms around Natsu without thinking twice about it, without thinking even once about letting go. And there was nothing more dangerous than the realization that Gray wanted to hold Natsu as much as Natsu was willing to be held.

Natsu never hid what he felt and Gray knew that more than anyone. There wasn’t a day the two wouldn’t squabble over the stupidest of things, but it was fine, because that was how they expressed their feelings. They both understood that there was nothing personal in their arguments.

Or at least, Natsu thought they did. All it took was one interaction to make Natsu doubt that.

One random day, Gray and Natsu had an argument. It was as normal as the sun was in the middle of the sky, but something was off. Gray was being more hesitant than usual. Natsu didn’t give it much thought at first, but after Gray’s first punch landed and Natsu grabbed Gray’s wrist in retaliation, Gray pulled away from him like he was burned. He didn’t say a word and stood there for a moment, before deciding whatever it is he wanted to say wasn’t worth it and left, leaving Natsu to wonder what was up with him.

Natsu stood around in the guild that day, waiting for Gray to come back. Only after night fell did Natsu realize he had no intention to.

The next day, Gray was back, but he was quiet. Natsu didn’t try to provoke him, but wondered if he should’ve tried. Test his reaction.

Natsu followed him with his eyes, and once Gray sat by a table alone, staring at nothing in particular as he mixed his drink, Natsu sat next to him.

“Are you mad at me?” Natsu asked, because he was never great at beating around the bush.

Gray seemed to snap from the trance he was in. “Natsu?”

“I said,” Natsu repeated. “Are you mad at me?”

Gray looked surprised for a moment, but it passed as quickly as it came, and he looked away. “Of course not.”

“Then why are you acting so weird?” Natsu pushed further. “Did I do something?”

“Not everything is about you, idiot,” Gray said and stood up.

Before he could leave, Natsu punched him, only to be blocked by Gray’s arms.

“What do you want, Natsu?” Gray asked, annoyed. When Natsu grabbed his arm to twist it, Gray pushed him away.

“See!” Natsu insisted. “You avoided me like that yesterday, too. You _always_ try to kick my stomach when I grab your right arm.“

Gray stood there, stunned by Natsu’s words. “How did you notice that?”

“How could I not?” Natsu asked seriously. “You’re… you.” 

Gray’s eyes widened. 

Natsu didn’t recognize that look. He never saw Gray be so terrified before.

“I need to go,” Gray said, and pushed past him.

“Gray, wait!” Natsu called after him, getting angry. “What’s your deal?”

Natsu didn’t get an answer.

“Gray is acting weird,” Natsu announced.

“How did you get into my house?” Lucy asked in response, only wearing a towel.

Gray’s behavior shouldn’t have bothered Natsu, but it did. It wasn’t the first time Gray was being annoying (and it wouldn’t be the last time-- he was _Gray_ ), but he never pushed Natsu away before. It was the opposite; he would pull Natsu in, and try to knee him in the stomach.

“He’s been too quiet,” Natsu continued, wondering aloud. “It’s weird.”

“Natsu. How did you get into my house.”

“I want to leave it alone but he’s just pissing me off,” Natsu added. “And he won’t talk. Should I just wait it out? But I _hate_ waiting…”

“Natsu!” Lucy cut in. “All of my windows are closed and the door is locked. For the last time, how the heck did you get into my house?”

Natsu finally turned to Lucy. “the window was closed? I thought it was stuck.”

“So what did you do?” Lucy prodded, crossing her arms.

“Blew it up,” Natsu said as if it was obvious. 

“Natsu!”

After Lucy gave Natsu a good hit on the head with a rolled-up magazine, Natsu sank into her couch and sighed. Lucy hovered next to him, seeing that he seriously needed advice, and gently touched his shoulder. “Give me a moment to change.”

A few minutes later, Lucy was back with two cups of overly sweetened tea, and they sat with their knees pressed together as some comedy show played on TV.

“What about Gray makes you think he’s acting weird?” Lucy asked after a few moments of blowing air at her hot tea. “I didn’t notice anything different.”

Natsu thought of a way to describe it, but after a moment of thinking, he couldn’t really say _what_ was wrong. He just knew something was.

“He just…” Natsu tried. “He runs away.”

Lucy raised a curious eyebrow and took a sip of her tea. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know,” Natsu huffed in frustration. “I don’t remember doing anything to make him annoyed, and when I asked him, he said it wasn’t about me… but it feels like it is. He’s avoiding me.”

“Wait, really?” Lucy asked, surprised. “Why would he do that? Did you two fight?”

“Yeah, but we do that every day,” Natsu replied. “I don’t get him. One moment I think he became really easy to talk to and the other he’s acting pissy and leaves.”

“Look, we should be considerate. If something’s really up, we should support him,” Lucy reminded Natsu gently. “I know you two have your thing that you’re used to, but maybe Gray doesn’t need that right now.”

Natsu frowned. “So I’m just supposed to let it go?”

“You just need to be gentle.”

Natsu wasn’t sure “gentle” was even in his dictionary, but he didn’t take Lucy’s words lightly, not when she’d known Natsu and Gray for as long as she did. He trusted her judgment.

“If you say so,” Natsu sighed. 

Lucy smiled at him. “Don’t worry too much. I’ve learned that worrying when it comes to you and Gray is pointless.”

Natsu didn’t know what to say to that, but something about the way Lucy talked to him calmly was reassuring. He didn’t need to overthink things.

Gray was worried.

Things changed after the job he took with Natsu and Lucy. Gray thought for a long time, the day they returned. He thought about the things that changed. He thought about Natsu.

He realized, after a lot of thinking, that he might’ve been in love with him. He might’ve been in love with him for a very long time.

That wasn’t good. Wasn’t good at all.

It wasn’t the right time. Gray wasn’t ready. Loving someone else seemed impossible when he barely made peace with himself. Loving Natsu Dragneel? Seemed so impossible Gray couldn’t comprehend how simple it actually was.

Gray thought about it and he was terrified. Then, he saw Natsu, and felt like he was slapped. How can he face him every day with those feelings and bottle them up? So he tried not facing him. He tried pretending he didn't exist.

It didn’t work.

Gray was worried Natsu was going to march up to him, punch him in the face, and demand answers, and he was worried that he would look at his face and say nothing. 

But Natsu never did.

The third time Natsu and Gray saw each other after Gray’s realization, Gray avoided looking into his eyes, but Natsu ignored that. “Tell me when you’re done with…” Natsu looked him up and down. “Whatever it is you’re doing.”

And then he walked away.

Gray felt stupid, because he was relieved and surprised and a little dazed. That might’ve been the first time he saw Natsu let something go.

Lucy was sitting on her bed, waiting for Natsu to get out of her shower (because apparently, he was too broke for running water), when she got a text from Cana.

_Gray just came over and said Natsu’s ignoring him, and now he’s eating my entire house. Help needed_

Lucy sighed. “Natsu!”

“What?” Natsu asked, coming out of her bathroom wearing sweatpants.

“When I told you to go easy on Gray I did _not_ mean ignore him,” Lucy said. “That’s mean! He’s your friend.”

“I’m mad at him,” Natsu said and crossed his arms. “And he’s not really my friend.”

“Natsu!”

“I’m not being mean! He’s just.” A moment. “Not.”

“You know what? As your friend, I’m supposed to advise you to get your shit together,” Lucy told him. “But as Lucy, I don’t really care. Be nice to Gray and let’s go get ice cream.”

“Cold things remind me of him,” Natsu scrunched his nose, and Lucy kicked his leg.

“So what’s your deal?” Cana asked, watching Gray finish her chips.

“Everything’s fine,” Gray said, and it wasn’t like he was lying. Cana just knew better.

“So the whole story about you and Natsu…”

“It’s weird, right?” Gray asked, opening a bag of Doritos. “That idiot only knows how to face things head first, so how come he’s ignoring me?” he took a fistful of Doritos and shoved them in his mouth. “Honestly, it’s a little refreshing.”

“Sounds like it annoys you more than you’re willing to admit,” Cana pointed out, leaning on her counter. “You two are always in each other’s faces. Maybe you miss that.”

Did he miss that?

Gray remembered getting repeatedly punched by a flaming fist.

“I don’t think I do.”

“I think you miss him,” Cana added. “I don’t remember you two ever ignoring each other. When you’re mad, you fight like crazy, and when you’re happy you’re always smiling and laughing at each other like children.”

Gray frowned. “We don’t act like children.”

Cana raised a judging eyebrow and didn’t say anything.

“Okay, I get it,” Gray sighed, and grabbed a banana from Cana’s fruit basket. He took a huge bite from it, pouting.

Cana rolled her eyes. “Think for a moment, smartass. Why would Natsu, the person who loves to beat the shit out of you, decide to ignore you?”

“Maybe because I avoided him first?” Gray suggested, taking another bite of his banana. “He looked pretty pissed when I walked away after he punched me.”

“Why would he be pissed at-- _why_ would you avoid him?”

“I love him,” Gray confessed, the words coming out easily.

“Okay, _and_?” Cana asked. “Why would you avoid him?”

Gray stopped his eating to stare. “Um, Cana? Did you hear what I just said? I’m in love with him.”

“And?” Cana repeated. “Why would that make you avoid him? You’ve always loved him.”

“No, I mean--” Gray stopped to collect his fumbled thoughts. “I _love_ love him. I have feelings for him.”

Cana didn’t say anything for a moment, examining Gray’s face. “You seem to think this is news to me,” she said eventually. “But this is maybe the only thing about you I never questioned. I know you _love_ love him, idiot, I can see it clear as day on your face just like the rest of the guild can.”

For a moment, Gray was baffled, left speechless. He only recently discovered the nature of his feelings towards Natsu, so how come she knew? How come she claimed everyone else knew too, when Gray himself only figured it out a few days before?

“How did you know?” he managed, still surprised.

Cana smirked. “I don’t know, how _did_ I know? How could I ever notice your feelings for Natsu when you look at him the way you do? When you search for every excuse possible to get his attention? When you can’t get your hands off him when you’re both in the same room? When you do everything to prove your worth to him? You’re an absolute moron.”

Oh. Did he do that?

“Anyway, apologize to him, you fucking stick,” Cana said, and threw him an apple. “Maybe confess on the way, too. And _stop_ eating my entire house.”

“I wanted a snack,” Gray murmured, taking a bite of the apple.

“You wanted to get smacked?” Cana asked, and Gray didn’t bother correcting her.

Natsu, despite Lucy’s words, didn’t care about “being nice” to Gray. If Gray had a problem and didn’t want to talk or fight things out like a man, Natsu didn’t have anything to say to him.

“Natsu.”

Natsu knew Gray was calling him, but he was too petty to listen.

“ _Natsu_.”

He ignored him.

“Natsu!”

Natsu didn’t even turn his head.

And then, Gray’s fist connected to Natsu’s cheek.

Natsu finally turned to look at Gray, grinning. “I win.”

But then he saw Gray’s face.

“Natsu,” Gray repeated, and this time, he got a response.

“Are you okay?”

Gray took a deep breath. “Can you come with me?”

Natsu followed Gray outside, not saying a word. Gray looked _nervous_. Natsu never saw Gray act nervous in his entire life. Maybe Lucy was right, and Gray _was_ going through some stuff… 

Natsu felt guilty. Maybe he was too petty.

“What’s going on?” Natsu asked when they were alone.

Gray sneaked a look at him before turning away. “Something important.”

“I’m listening,” Natsu said and crossed his arms.

Gray opened his mouth to say something, but after a moment, he closed it. “... I can’t.”

Natsu started to get worried. “Gray…”

“Sorry, Natsu.”

Gray turned to leave, but Natsu grabbed his wrist. “Gray, I’m sorry for ignoring you, okay? You can talk to me.”

“If I tell you, you’ll ignore me again,” Gray said, shaking his head. “This was a mistake.”

“Gray,” Natsu stopped him. “Whatever it is you’re going to say, it won’t make me ignore you again. Promise.”

That didn’t seem to make Gray feel better. “I’ll tell you. Let go of me.”

Natsu did, but he didn’t have a good feeling about it. He didn’t say anything, because he thought if he were to say anything, it would probably be too impatient and scare Gray away.

Gray said he’ll tell him, but he wasn’t saying anything. Just when Natsu started to wonder what the heck was going on, he was startled out of his thoughts as Gray’s hand took his.

“What--”

After a brief second of holding Natsu’s hand, Gray took his hand back. “There. I told you.”

“I didn’t understand shit,” Natsu interjected. “Talk. With words.”

“C’mon, Natsu,” Gray nudged him. “You’re not _that_ dumb.”

Natsu kicked him as lightly as he could. “I don’t get it.”

“I love you, stupid,” Gray finally said. “Idiot. What else could it mean? I have feelings for you. Dumbass.” 

“How am I supposed to get that from your _hand_?” Natsu asked, slightly annoyed. “You could’ve done something more romantic.”

“Like what?”

“Dunno. Kiss me?”

“I can’t just _kiss_ you.”

“Sure you can.”

“Why would I-- ugh, forget it,” Gray face-palmed.

After a moment of Gray re-thinking every life decision he’s ever made, Natsu spoke. “So…” Natsu trailed off, dragging the ‘o’. “You love me?”

Gray was caught off guard, and his face reddened instantly. He looked aside. “Shut up.”

“No, I’m curious,” Natsu chuckled. “Why me? I’m sure you got plenty of girls following you to the guild every day.”

“I’m not going to inflate your ego, flames-for-brains.”

Natsu grinned proudly and didn’t say anything else. Then a thought crossed his mind, and his smile dimmed. “Is this why you backed away from our fight?”

He would reply, but Gray was afraid of being more vulnerable than he already was, especially when his heart was on the table but Natsu’s was completely hidden. He needed an answer of his own, first. “So what’s your answer?”

Natsu frowned. “What?”

“I told you what I feel,” Gray said, swallowing his pride. “What about you?”

“Oh,” Natsu said softly, and his frown deepened. “I don’t know? I never thought of anyone like that. Especially you.”

Gray expected that. “I guess you’re too much of a blockhead to care about these things,” he teased him, and despite knowing this was what he was going to get, he felt hurt prick his heart. “It’s okay if you only see me as a friend. Being your friend is enough.”

Natsu thought quietly for a moment. “You’re… Gray,” he said eventually, trying to pinpoint what exactly it was that he tried to convey, but failed miserably. He sighed. “I never had to put my feelings for you into words before.”

Natsu was honest, but his words implied more than what he thought they did, and Gray didn’t know how to handle that. _He really was an idiot_. Gray’s face flushed, and he turned away. “Anyway. Now you know.”

He let his legs take him as far away from there as possible, before Natsu could see how painful the rejection really was.

Natsu didn’t know what to do, so he came to Lucy.

Before Lucy crashed into his life like a hurricane, Natsu didn’t really come to people with his problems. He dealt with them on his own, and if he couldn’t, faced the consequences. After Natsu met Lucy and couldn’t imagine living his life without her, he started talking to her about pretty much everything, sharing every part of his life that he felt like sharing. It was a really good change.

“Lucy!” Natsu called, barging into her apartment through the door for a change. “I need your help!”

Lucy was sitting down on her couch, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a bra, eating ice cream straight from a huge tub. Her hair was tied up in a messy ponytail and there was loud laughter coming from her TV, likely another comedy movie (she _loved_ those, even if the comedy wasn’t funny at all). “I can’t believe you came in through the door,” Lucy said, sounding genuinely surprised. “That’s character development.”

Natsu let himself in and sat next to her. “What are you doing?”

Lucy shrugged. “Procrastinating. Eating this tub of ice cream. Avoiding thinking about an unedited story draft that I was supposed to finish two months ago. You?” 

“Gray just told me he loves me.”

Lucy choked on her ice cream.

Natsu patted her on the back as she started coughing. Once she cleared her throat, she turned to him with disbelief in her eyes. “He _what_?!”

“I know right?” Natsu agreed. “I have no idea where it came from either.”

“No, it’s not that, idiot,” Lucy cut in. “ _Obviously_ he loves you, I knew about that from pretty much the moment I met him, but he _told_ you?” 

Natsu stared at her, his mouth slightly open. “What do you mean you _knew_?”

“You’re better off asking Mira these sorts of questions,” Lucy waved him off. “Forget that. What did you say to him?”

Natsu sank into the couch. “What was I supposed to say? I told him I don’t know what I feel about him.”

“Idiots, the two of you,” Lucy declared, and shoved her spoon into the tub of ice cream. “How could you say that? You would die for him if he asked and would follow him to the ends of the world but you still _don’t know_?” when Natsu didn’t say anything, she continued. “I thought we all figured out you two have feelings for each other that one time you two cuddled in front of the fireplace. I mean, Mira literally refers to you two as a couple now. She thinks you’re really cute.”

Natsu tried to recall cuddling Gray in front of a fireplace, but he couldn’t remember anything like that. “I think you’re making things up at this point.”

“Natsu, picture this,” Lucy stopped him, as a final attempt to make him see what everyone else did. “Gray comes to the guild one day with a boy he likes. That boy ends up joining the guild and Gray takes him on jobs all the time, spending all of his time with him. Imagine he and that boy love each other a lot, and they eventually move in together, and Gray starts to take fewer jobs and is in the guild less because he spends all his time with that boy he loves.” Lucy sneaked a look at Natsu, making sure he was listening. “Now imagine, they love each other so much that they get married, and when Gray’s too old to go on missions and hang out in the guildhall, he spends the rest of his life with that boy, and builds a family with him. How does that make you feel?”

Natsu shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. “I don’t know.”

“Now imagine,” Lucy continued. “That this boy he loves is you.”

Natsu did. He imagined taking jobs together, only the two of them, without Happy or Lucy or Erza. he imagined moving in with Gray, and getting yelled at for not doing laundry or cooking like shit or breaking things all the time. He imagined sitting down on the grass outside of his house with Gray sitting next to him and having a normal conversation that would eventually turn into a loud brawl, and he could see them laughing as they got dirt on each other’s clothes. He imagined them getting married and growing old together.

“Do you like the idea of that?” Lucy asked softly.

He did.

“Maybe,” Natsu admitted.

Lucy was satisfied, but was too considerate to show it. “I’m not saying that you have to have feelings for him because everyone said so. But I do think you’re not fully aware of your true feelings because you just never considered them before. You should come back to the guild and be like you always are around Gray, and see if anything’s changed.”

Natsu considered her suggestion. He hoped Gray wouldn’t start acting weird around him, because he had a tendency to get embarrassed and run away sometimes. 

Huh. Natsu got an idea.

“Thanks, Lucy,” Natsu said, and he meant it. “Do you have more ice cream?”

Lucy grinned. “Of course I do.”

“What’s gotten into you?”

It’s been two weeks ever since Gray confessed his feelings to Natsu. Since then, he took seven different jobs, the longest one taking almost a week, and was barely at the guild. It wasn’t because he was avoiding Natsu, not really. But he needed some time to himself.

Gray looked up from his drink (some of the boys went out drinking together, and Gray found himself sitting alone by the bar, making full use of the loud noises to drown his thoughts) and saw Laxus leaning on the bar next to him. 

“What are you talking about?” Gray asked. He hasn’t seen Laxus around a lot, so he had no idea what he wanted.

“You’ve been acting super weird this entire month,” Laxus pointed out. “You’re not here, and when you are, you’re way too quiet. What’s up?”

Gray realized Laxus was _worried_ about him, and got weirdly emotional. He couldn’t lie to that. “Some things are going on. Needed time to think.”

Laxus raised his drink in solidarity, and Gray mirrored him, gulping down what was left in his cup. It was a shame Cana was away. She would’ve loved seeing Gray drink himself stupid.

“If you need to voice your thoughts, I don’t have to be anywhere,” Laxus said, and they settled into a comfortable silence. Gray appreciated the gesture, and liked that he wasn’t being too pushy, despite his obvious intentions to get some answers.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Gray said eventually. He felt like a kid, but he really didn’t want the guild all up in his business, and he trusted Laxus to not tell anyone. On second thought… “You can tell Freed, but only him,” Gray corrected himself, knowing it was pointless to ask him to keep things from his other half. Laxus waited quietly for him to continue.

“I love Natsu,” Gray confessed, and noticed he wasn’t hesitating. It became easier to say the more he thought about it. “He doesn’t feel the same way, and I needed a distraction from that.” 

Laxus took a sip of his drink and finished it, and put the glass down. He signaled the bartender to fill his cup. “I understand taking time to yourself more than anyone.”

“Right?” Gray huffed. “Now I have money _and_ peace of mind.”

Laxus laughed at that. “What else can you want?”

It was supposed to be a joke, but Gray didn’t take it as one. “Affection?”

“I hear that.”

They drank silently for a little bit. It was nice, until Gray remembered he was heartbroken. Everything was going to stay the same, and that was supposed to be good; Natsu was consistent and reliable and a true friend even when Gray didn’t deserve one, and Gray always appreciated how Natsu accepted every part of him without judging him. He was still going to have that, but it wasn’t enough for his heart anymore.

Greed.

Gray sighed and hid his face in his arms, wondering if it was a good idea to keep drinking when he felt like he was going to black out. Gray _wasn’t_ a lightweight, and he wasn’t going overboard according to Cana standards, so he shrugged off the voice in his head telling him staying was a bad idea. 

Laxus must’ve felt bad for him, because he ruffled Gray’s hair, and Gray felt like the absolute definition of the word pathetic. 

“You and Natsu are still young,” Laxus reminded him, and Gray didn’t know if it was comforting or not. “You both have time to figure things out. If things end up alright, that’s easier. If they don’t, you just have to pick yourself up and move on. You’ve always been good at that.”

Gray lifted his head. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Laxus flashed a quick smile before leaving money on the counter and leaving Gray’s sight.

Natsu waited.

He’s been waiting for a few hours, but the time passed as if he was there for days. People kept coming in and walking out, and Natsu was waiting.

The moment Gray came in, Natsu sighed a breath of relief. 

Then, he jumped to his feet, and started running.

“Gray!”

Before Gray could do anything, Natsu tackled him to the floor, pinning both of his arms down. “Hi,” Natsu grinned. “Long time no see.”

“Can you get off me?” Gray asked, trying to wriggle out of Natsu’s grip. “I was gonna go take a job.”

“Change of plans,” Natsu declared. “You’re coming with me.”

Gray’s brows furrowed. “Natsu, I was going to work today--”

“You’ve worked for two weeks straight,” Natsu brushed him off. “It’s not like letting loose for one day will kill you.” Natsu retrieved his arms, and Gray pushed him to the floor.

Natsu’s grin only widened, and Gray let out a sigh, unable to stop a small smile from appearing on his lips. He was endlessly relieved that Natsu was still going to be his friend, even if he knew in the back of his mind that Natsu would never abandon him.

A few minutes later, Natsu grabbed Gray’s wrist and dragged him out of the main hall, and Gray tried to ignore everyone’s stares. Gray long gave up on understanding Natsu, and he let him take them wherever he wanted, trying not to speculate too much.

Natsu took Gray to the park next to their guild, and dragged him to the big tree, the one that meant so much for their guild. Then, he sat on the grass, and pulled Gray down with him.

They sat together for a quiet moment before Gray decided this was too weird for him. “Why are we here?” 

“I want to talk,” Natsu grinned, and Gray immediately stiffened. What did he mean? Gray never heard Natsu say that sentence before, and it scared him to death. Was he going to say something about Gray’s feelings for him? Gray shouldn’t have said anything. He should’ve bottled his feelings up. He should’ve--

“So I went to some bakery with Erza a few days ago,” Natsu told him, cutting off Gray’s thoughts. “And you know how Erza is, right? She freaked out and wondered if she had enough money to just buy everything in stock, and she ended up literally buying everything, but then her bank gave her trouble and now she’s broke until they figure out their shit. I saw her doing paperwork this morning and she looked like she was about to lose her mind. Oh, and a week ago--”

Natsu continued, filling their conversation with random stories Gray wasn’t present to witness, and Gray realized he just wanted to _talk_. Gray felt bad for doubting their bond even for a second, and felt his edges softening as Natsu’s ramblings went on, letting go of his anxiety. He never had to worry in the first place.

Gray listened, commented, or laughed when it was appropriate, and also started a few small arguments. They bickered and laughed and it was so normal. So _them_. 

After a while, Natsu ran out of words, but never out of energy. He started to roll around in the ground and complained about how prickly it is, and Gray laughed, because he was an _idiot_. (Gray’s idiot, but an idiot nonetheless.)

Thinking back, Gray and Natsu never just sat down and talked. Natsu never sat Gray down somewhere, just them, and talked his ears off about things Gray didn’t care for. Gray _did_ recall many nonsensical conversations they had during battle, arguments at the guild, and laughter shared around a campfire.

“Aren’t you tired?” Gray asked when Natsu started climbing the tree. “You brought me here, but you can’t sit down for one second without doing anything.”

“Sitting around and doing nothing is boring,” Natsu yelled predictably from the top of the tree. “Hey, Gray! Let’s fight!”

Gray grinned. “You’re not gonna get much action if I kick your ass in two seconds.”

“Let’s see you try,” Natsu said, and jumped down.

Gray laughed when Natsu tackled him to the ground. They couldn’t hold back their smiles as they kicked each other, pushing each other into the dirt and laughing at the other’s misfortune, only to get a punch thrown in their faces.

It was perfect.

There was no one to stop them like usual, so Natsu and Gray’s squabble lasted until they were out of breath, on the ground, laughing more than they ever have.

“ _Now_ I’m tired,” Natsu wheezed, and Gray chuckled. 

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” Natsu said after a moment, standing up. “Let’s go.”

“To the guild?”

“To eat,” Natsu corrected him, and pulled Gray along.

Only when they were on their way to get food did Gray realize he was in serious, _serious_ trouble. His heart was so content, and spending time with Natsu felt so natural, but Natsu didn’t share that sentiment. Why did Natsu, who gave Gray a vague “I don’t know how I feel about you” answer when Gray poured his heart out to him, suddenly talked to him for hours on end and grabbed lunch with him as if nothing happened?

And then a thought popped up in his head. Natsu was always a competitive person, and as he rambled about how hungry he was, Gray realized he was rubbing his victory in.

Gray was never going to have Natsu the way he wanted to have him, and Natsu knew that. He was showing Gray everything he wanted and couldn’t have.

Lucy came to the guild later than planned, but she came with fire in her eyes. It was work day, she decided. She needed to go out on a job by herself, kick some serious ass, and make some serious money. 

On second thought, maybe going out alone wasn’t the best idea she’s ever had. Lucy walked over to Mira, leaning on the countertop. “Mira, did you see Natsu and Happy?”

Mira smiled knowingly, wiping a cup clean. “Happy is here somewhere. He’s been moping around, since Natsu left him here, snatched Gray, and bolted out as soon as Gray came in.”

“He did what?” Lucy asked, surprised. “Where are they?”

Mira shrugged. “He dragged Gray out without saying where they were going. I’m sure Wendy or Gajeel can find him for you.”

Hopefully, Natsu and Gray disappearing together was a good thing. “No, it’s fine,” Lucy sighed. “I’ll manage without him.”

“Oh,” Mira mumbled. “You might not need to.”

“Lucy!” 

Lucy turned around, and there was Natsu, running towards her. Gray was nowhere to be seen, but at least Natsu was there. “Oh, I was looking for--”

Before Lucy could continue, Natsu jumped, and Lucy yelled as he collided with her and they both fell to the ground.

“You sure love tackling people today,” Mira commented, leaning over the bar to make sure they were alright.

“Natsu, what the heck is your deal?!” Lucy shrieked. “Where have you been? Where’s Gray?”

“He went to see Lyon. Anyway, let’s go to your house!” Natsu requested, and pulled them both up. “It’s an emergency.”

“But I wanted to work today,” Lucy complained. “I need money.”

“Not you too,” Natsu groaned. “You’re all _boring_. Let’s go on a big job tomorrow.”

Lucy liked the sound of that. “Okay. What’s going on?”

“Let’s go to your house,” Natsu repeated, pulling on her sleeve. “Give me more ice cream.”

Over a big tub of strawberry ice cream, Natsu told her the events of his day.

“So you took Gray on a date,” Lucy concluded, scraping the walls of the tub. “How did that help? At _all_?”

“I didn’t take him on a date,” Natsu pointed out. “I talked to him about all the things he missed, punched him a few times, and got lunch with him.”

“A date,” Luzy summarized.

“Not a date,” Natsu disagreed. “A normal friends hangout.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Fine, let’s say it was that. How did that _hangout_ help with anything?”

“I wanted to see if anything changed, now that I know about his feelings, and he knows I know,” Natsu explained. “And nothing did.”

Lucy sighed audibly. Maybe it was time to give up. “Look, Natsu, I never said--”

“But,” Natsu cut her off, continuing. “I think that’s what made me love him in the first place.”

Lucy might’ve needed someone to scrape her chin off the floor. She stared at Natsu, hoping she was hearing him right. “You _what_?”

“I always wanted to spend the rest of my life with him,” Natsu confessed. “So I didn’t really understand what you meant when you told me all of that stuff the other day about him finding love and getting married. I thought maybe I’d go to Gray and see what you mean. I think I do, now.”

“So do you _think_ you love him, or do you actually do?” Lucy deadpanned.

Natsu blinked. “I... do.”

_Oh boy._

“Natsu, stop thinking so much. It’s bad for your nonexistent brain,” Lucy told him. “Let your heart answer this time. Do you love Gray?”

_Yes._

When Natsu didn’t say anything for a few seconds, Lucy rested her cheek on the palm of her hand, examining her friend. “You’re taking too long, Natsu. Why are you hesitating?”

“This is new to me,” Natsu admitted. “And if I say that I do without being 100% sure… won’t it hurt him?”

Lucy’s heart did a flip in her chest. Even if he was a tad aggressive and a little too energetic, Natsu was such a loving person with a gentle heart, and Lucy loved that about him.

“You know what?” Lucy asked, patting his head. “Forget Gray. We’re already here and you’ve convinced me to do nothing today, so let’s watch a movie or something.”

Before Natsu could even consider her suggestion, the door to her house opened violently.

“Lucy, are you here?”

When Gray noticed Lucy and Natsu on the couch, he let out a relieved sigh. Then, straightening up, he pointed at Natsu. “You,” he said. “Out.”

Natsu stood up to object. “You come into my house…”

“ _My_ house,” Lucy corrected.

“...Without even knocking,” Natsu ignored her, “And now you’re kicking me out?”

“I need Lucy and you hog her all the time,” Gray crossed his arms. “You need to get other friends.”

“I have other friends,” Natsu protested.

“Then go visit them,” Gray retorted, and dragged Natsu out, closing the door in his face.

Lucy continued to eat what was left of her ice cream, her expression worried _and_ heavily judgemental. “I didn’t know I was so popular,” she said. As an afterthought, she added, “I really should start locking the door.”

“I’ve been looking for you,” Gray said. “Why weren’t you at the guild?”

Lucy scrunched her nose at the memory of Natsu bursting into the guild. “I had some stuff to do. Are you okay? You never come inside without knocking.”

“Natsu hates me,” Gray said, and Lucy was utterly confused. She took a silent bite of her ice cream, regretted it for a few seconds of brain-freeze, and went back to judging Gray with her gaze. They couldn’t have possibly been _that_ dumb.

“Why would he hate you?” Lucy forced out. She felt stupid for entertaining their idiotic ideas, but she had to understand what was going on if she wanted to help. “You talked to him like normal just now.”

Gray sat down on Lucy’s couch, and took the ice cream tub out of her hands. “I told him that I’m in love with him. I’m in love with him, by the way,” Gray told her, and Lucy tried to react as if she didn’t know that. “And _he_ told me he doesn’t like me back, and today he dedicated half a day to shove the fact that he doesn’t feel the same way about me in my face.”

Lucy face-palmed. Why did she even like those idiots. Why was she trying. She should’ve kicked both Gray and Natsu out and worked on her draft instead of wasting her spontaneous day off on hearing these idiots speculate about how much they love each other.

“The most pathetic thing is, I liked spending time with him like normal,” Gray mumbled, shoving a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. Then, he scrunched his nose at the spoon. “Do you have other flavors? Strawberry is sour and pink and I don’t need more reminders that my life is cold and empty.”

Gray didn’t seem to be taking Natsu’s rejection super well. Lucy noticed that the disappointment and sadness caused him to mellow out, and his thoughts became soft and disorganized, way less confident, and a lot more chaotic than usual. Gray complained about Natsu’s smile, his laugh, how he treated Gray like he always did when Gray was so affected by him, and Lucy could feel how badly his heart ached. As one of his closest friends, she’s never heard him talk about _anyone_ the way he did about Natsu, eating pineapple ice cream (yeah, Lucy liked fruit-flavored ice cream, sue her for it) on her couch while complaining she didn’t have vanilla.

“You know, when I told Cana, she said my feelings were obvious for a long time,” Gray grimaced, recalling her speech. “I convinced myself she was lying, because I thought I would’ve noticed a pain _this_ overwhelming… but I’m pretty sure she was right. There’s no way I’d feel like this if it started recently. And the way he acted today… it hurts so much, Luce. He _knows_ , but he smiled like I never told him anything.“

Lucy wanted to scream in his face that he had the wrong idea, but she couldn’t, not when Natsu was so unsure. Despite that, she still felt like she had to do _something_. Gray’s expression was so delicate, Lucy practically felt her heart shattering.

“Don’t be so sure,” she settled on saying. “You know Natsu is not this petty. Maybe he was trying to show you that you’re still friends, no matter what?”

Gray looked aside. “Maybe.”

Lucy sighed. “You’re breaking my heart,” she complained, and pulled Gray into a hug. “You two are idiots, you know that?”

Gray sadly chuckled at that. “Sorry for worrying you.”

“Seriously,” she agreed, pulling back. “All you do is worry me. And Natsu told me you went to Lamia Scale?”

Gray’s face suddenly reddened. “Yeah.”

“Oh?” Lucy asked. “You’re blushing.”

Gray stood up. “Thank you for hearing me out,” he said hastily, but Lucy grabbed his arm before he could bolt out of her house. She pulled him down, so he was sitting again. “What did you do there?”

“I went to see Lyon,” Gray said, and didn’t elaborate.

Lucy frowned. “Don’t make me get it out of you.”

Gray’s face turned serious. “Lucy, don’t you _dare_.”

“Don’t make me,” Lucy smirked, and Gray slowly moved further and further away. She pulled out Cancer’s key out of her keychain. “You have three options, Fullbuster. Leave with a shaved head, get tickled to death, or tell me what’s so embarrassing about you going to visit your brother.”

All of those options horrified Gray, but one was slightly less bad than the others. Gray pinched the bridge of his nose, looking a little stressed. “We made a promise.”

“I’m listening,” Lucy urged him to continue.

“We promised each other that we’d tell the other when we like someone,” Gray finally said, covering his eyes with his hands. “You don’t understand how humiliating it is to say that I like Natsu out loud, especially when that bastard was judging me for it.”

Lucy giggled. “That’s all?” she asked. “What did he say?”

“He didn’t approve,” Gray frowned, embarrassed. “And When I told him Natsu doesn’t like me back anyway, he started getting _angry_ , and went on a huge rant about how Natsu is missing out and started saying that I’m too good for him... It would be a miracle if no one other than me heard him.”

Lucy laughed, patting Gray on the back. “He’ll eat those words when you and Natsu get together.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Gray said, but he looked better. After a moment, he took a deep breath, and smiled. “Thanks, Luce.”

“Don’t mention it,” Lucy smiled. “I’m always here for you, okay? But don’t come in expecting comfort food anymore, because you and Natsu ate almost all of my ice cream.”

Gray chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Then, a little softer than usual, she reminded him, “Natsu cares about you more than you know, Gray. don’t give up on him just yet.”

It was clear that he didn’t believe her. “Okay.”

Gray left, and Lucy closed her door with a sigh, finally about to get some peace and quiet. She sat on her couch, turned on her TV, and after an episode of her favorite comedy she reached for the ice cream Gray left behind (maybe she was going to regret that later, but ice cream was too good to pass up on). 

A knock on her door startled her. _Again_? 

Lucy dragged her feet to the door, her brows furrowed. Did she order pizza? Was Natsu back?

“What now… Oh,” Lucy muttered, surprised. “Cana.”

Cana leaned against the doorframe. “I was on my way home to grab something to eat when Gray texted me this.” She turned her phone to Lucy.

_I’m out of snacks, and all Lucy has is ice cream. I’m going to your house._

“He ate all of my ice cream and now he’s complaining?” Lucy whined. “Natsu also came by earlier, you know! I could’ve easily saved my pineapple ice cream but I didn’t because I’m an _amazing_ friend.”

Cana nodded, understanding Lucy’s pain. “Can I stay here until he’s out of my house? I don’t want to go over there only to see the mess he’s going to make.”

Lucy let her in, and vowed to never let either of them near her food again.

Natsu sat begrudgingly on a table at the guild (yes, _on_ a table, because Natsu refused to accept the concept of chairs), annoyed that he was kicked out of Lucy’s house. Annoyed that it was _Gray_ who kicked him out. That jerk.

He wondered what they were talking about.

Lucy was a friend to both Natsu and Gray; Natsu liked claiming that he was closer to her because he was clingier, and because they shattered practically every barrier that existed between them already. Natsu knew everything about Lucy, went through hell and back with her by his side, and came to her when he was bored or lonely. She easily became a person he felt comfortable with.

The wonderful thing about Lucy was that she had that effect on almost everyone.

Gray and Lucy, from the very beginning, got along pretty well. Gray was more of a private person, definitely way more than Natsu ever was, and Lucy liked that about him (maybe befriending Gray was such a pleasant change for her because she got used to Natsu, who didn’t know the word “boundaries”).

Gray liked Lucy almost instantly, and with time, developed a strong friendship with her. Gray felt as comfortable with Lucy as he did with people he knew for years. He hugged her, laughed with her, and trusted her like she was there when he joined the guild.

Lucy was a wonderful friend to both of them, which increased the chances of betrayal. 

Natsu didn’t know how much Gray was willing to reveal to her, since he kept a lot of things to himself, but Natsu had a gut feeling that Gray brought him up. Especially when he kicked Natsu out of a house he practically lived in to talk to Lucy in private.

“Happy,” Natsu said. “Can you go spy on them?”

Happy looked up from the fish he was eating. “Spy on who?”

“Lucy and Gray,” Natsu elaborated. “They’re at her house and I think they’re talking about me.”

“Why would they talk about you?” Happy asked, completely uninterested. Then, in a more teasing manner, he added, “Are you jealous that they’re alone in Lucy’s house?”

Was he jealous? 

He was mad he got kicked out, and annoyed he didn’t get to finish his ice cream… but he saw Lucy all the time, so it wasn’t like he was mad at not seeing her 24/7. Besides, Lucy and Gray didn’t like each other like that, so why would he be jealous? Gray liked Natsu.

_Gray liked Natsu._

Natsu was still getting used to that. Knowing Gray felt that way about him was weird, but it was… pretty comforting.

Why would Natsu be comforted by the fact Gray loved him, when he couldn’t say he loved him back out loud?

Natsu sighed, sulking. Why was everything so difficult? It wasn’t like that for Gray, clearly, because he told Natsu what he felt straight up. Natsu didn’t even know what to say to him. Why wasn’t it clear? What was Natsu missing?

… Thinking back, there was always something missing.

_Natsu didn’t exactly know what to call Gray._

_Gray wasn’t exactly a friend, but he wasn’t less than a friend._

_Family wasn’t the right word, because Natsu didn’t feel the same way about Gray as he did people who he considered family._

_Gray was a person Natsu loved beyond logic and reason._

And that was when Natsu realized he did love Gray, he might’ve loved him all along, and he might’ve _known_ it all along. Because Gray was always special, from the very first time Natsu saw him, and Natsu always _knew_ he was special.

How did it take him so long to piece it together?

Natsu jumped up to his feet, his annoyance forgotten, replaced with determination. He jumped to his feet and hoped Gray was still at Lucy’s.

When he got to Lucy’s house and banged in the door, it was Cana who opened it.

“Where’s Lucy?” Natsu asked hurriedly.

“I’m not standing up again,” Lucy yelled from inside the house, and Cana gestured at the living room with her head. 

“Is Gray here?” Natsu questioned, sneaking a look inside as he did.

“He left a little bit ago,” Lucy supplied loudly. Cana added, “Last time I checked, he was on his way to eat my entire house. Maybe he’s still there.”

“Thank you,” Natsu yelled, already on his way.

Gray wasn’t at Cana’s house.

From how dirty and messy her kitchen looked, it seemed like he was there at some point, but after a quick scan of the house, it was clear he wasn’t there anymore.

Where would he go? Natsu came from the guild and didn’t see him, but Gray could’ve gotten there when Natsu went to Lucy’s house. He could’ve been at his own house, too.

Natsu had to find him. He left Cana’s house and started his search.

Gray wasn’t home, wasn’t back at the guild, wasn’t at the dorms, and wasn’t seen by anyone. Natsu refused to give up, but he could’ve been literally everywhere, and no one had seen him around ever since Natsu pretty much stole him when he walked into the guild. Natsu’s phone was back at Lucy’s, so he had no way of asking him directly where he was. Natsu reached a dead end. 

Eventually, Natsu found himself wandering to the park, and sprawled on the grass, tired and frustrated. He didn’t want to have to wait to see Gray, especially when he promised Lucy they’d go on a job the next day. 

After a few moments of rest, Natsu sat up, looking around. The sun was setting, the green park bathing in a pleasant orange, and Natsu had to shield his eyes from the sun. It was relatively cold out, so Natsu didn’t question the lack of people; he saw someone walking their dog, someone jogging, a few people that huddled together as their friend managed a grill, and one single person, sitting under the big tree that stood in the center of the park.

When the sun wasn’t in his face, that person sure looked like Gray.

Natsu squinted.

It _was_ Gray?

He stood up, suddenly energetic, and jogged over to where Gray was sitting. “Gray!”

Gray didn’t look happy to see him. “Oh, Natsu.”

“I was looking all over for you,” Natsu huffed. “How long have you been here?”

“A little while,” Gray said, looking a little uncomfortable. “Why were you looking for me?”

“I need to tell you something,” Natsu said. “Mind if I sit?”

“Go ahead.”

Gray was quiet, but it wasn’t the comfortable quiet Natsu hoped for. Something was bothering him. “Hey,” Natsu nudged him. “I need to tell you something important, but I won’t if something’s bothering you.”

Gray glanced at Natsu, and by the glint of hope in his eyes, that was the right thing to say.

“You’re bothering me,” Gray told him, but there was no malice behind his words. “I don’t understand you.”

“I don’t understand myself either,” Natsu shrugged. “So you're not special. I also thought I didn’t understand how I feel about you, but I do now.”

There it was. Natsu would tell him he couldn’t be his friend anymore. Gray knew it would come eventually.

Natsu opened his mouth, suddenly nervous. Closed it. Opened it again. “I…”

“You don’t have to say it,” Gray stopped him. “I know what you’re going to say.”

“You do?” Natsu asked, sounding confused. 

Gray nodded in affirmation. “It’s okay, Natsu. You don’t have to pretend to be my friend anymore.”

Natsu seemed progressively more confused as Gray talked. “What are you talking about?”

“I should’ve never told you,” Gray continued. “I probably made you _so_ uncomfortable--”

“Gray, I wanted to say that I feel the same way,” Natsu cut him off. “I love you back. I didn’t know if I did and then I thought I didn’t and then I thought I did, but now I _know_ I do. I’m sorry it took me so long. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“What are you talking about?” Gray asked slowly, his throat dry. Was Natsu pranking him? It wasn’t funny. “Natsu, you said you didn’t--”

Natsu stopped him again. “I know what I said, Gray, but I didn’t know any better when you first told me. You’ve always been special to me. Always. I just never tried to find out in what way, and I didn’t know how special you really were, until today.”

Gray recalled their conversation.

_It’s okay if you only see me as a friend. Being your friend is enough._

_You’re... Gray. I never had to put my feelings for you into words before._

“You’re not… making fun of me, are you?” Gray made sure.

“Do you really fucking think I would do that to you?” Natsu asked, angry. “I drove Lucy nuts trying to figure out how I really feel about you, so you can ask her if you don’t believe me.”

“No, I…” Gray trailed off. Softly, he finished his sentence. “I believe you.”

“Good,” Natsu replied firmly. “Can I kiss you?”

Gray’s eyes widened, for a moment. Natsu was staring at him, waiting for his answer.

Gray’s shock wore off and a small smirk slowly made its way to his face, remembering what he told Natsu, and the laid back reply he got in return.

_I can’t just kiss you._

_Sure you can._

Instead of replying, Gray grabbed the collar of Natsu’s shirt, and hoped the taste of his lips was a good enough answer.

(Lucy was sitting in her bathtub, reading a magazine, and couldn’t shake off the feeling that she deserved a medal and a proud pat on the back.)

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!!! <3 if you like gratsu in 2020 just know that i love u  
> // spoilers for the ending of the fairy tail anime/reason why juvia isn't here at all:  
> juvia isn't in this fic at all bc of 2 reasons.  
> 1\. i didn't want to have to write a plotline about juvia not letting go of gray/being a character because i wanted this fic's main problem to be natsu and gray being dumb  
> 2\. ((((tw // death)))) juvia is dead as far as i'm concerned... i didn't like how fairy tail bullshitted her death and brought her back to life (especially bc i actually believed those mfs and was shocked that juvia died, and then was pissed when she was brought back from the dead bc ?? wendy), so my personal headcanon is that she died in the final battle. no one mentions her death here bc this is a lighthearted fic! sorry for any juvia fans out there but this is fairy tail's fault not mine
> 
> if you want to talk, i put the link to my boku no hero academia tumblr blog on all of my bnha fics! it's bnha only but feel free to chat


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